Unit 10

Things are looking up! I went back to review my unit 3 blog post and realized that all of my scores are improved.  Well mostly, my spiritual points stayed at a 9 while everything else rose to 9 as well.  I have been back on my fasting program for several weeks.  I have more energy, my pants are a bit looser, and I have been getting compliments from random people.  We have moved past the death of my husband's grandmother, summer is in full swing and business is on a wonderful upswing in our shop.  My psyche is soothed and I am happier now then I have been in a long time.  My children are annoying little heathens but... I love them dearly and it has been easier to focus some of my time and energy on them recently.  Partly because I have them at work with me all the time and partly because I am consciously trying to be present and engaged. 

I have made improvements in many aspects over the last ten weeks.  I think the combination of this class and the warmer weather has improved my mood and outlook.  Then on top of all of that, I have just been feeling amazing.  I've made new friends, I've meet a bunch of musically inclined people who have renewed my love of music and singing.  It has been very rewarding to stand up in front of a microphone and sing to a crowded room.  I have slowly been able to get over my fear of rejection and enjoy performing again.  Not only that but my intimate life has improved immensely!  Even though I haven't done as well with keeping up on my assignments, I still feel like I accomplished something by getting to the end of the course! 

As my husband says, "If momma's happy, everyone's happy!"

Unit 9 Project

Introduction

While taking this integral health course, I have been enlightened to a different way of looking at health care.  I have taken other courses that discussed different modalities of care such as Ayurveda and Chinese medicine.  I found many similarities between these ancient methods of healing and the basic concept of integral health.  If I was to go into the health care field professionally, I would make a point to strengthen my physical, psychological and spiritual sides so that I could have integrity in my practice.  I feel that it is extremely important when you are dealing with someone’s health that you have integrity and trust.  By developing yourself you not only practice what you preach but you also make yourself more enlightened, aware and compassionate. 

Personally, I need to develop all of the key aspects of integral health.  I am healthy but not fit physically.  I probably couldn’t flat out run a full mile unless I was being chased by something scary.  Spiritually, I need to remember my connection to Spirit.  I have been out of the practice of honoring Spirit over the past decade and this class has reminded me how important I used to think that connection was.  My biggest hurdle going forward will be working on the psychological aspect.  I have struggled with depression for many years and haven’t been able to find a core cause.  I have spent tons of money on doctors, medication, therapy and still have a core of insecurity that flares up and renders me helpless some days. 

Assessment

To complete the assessment found in Dacher’s book, I took a couple of opportunities to meditate quietly on each of the sections of my life.  The first time, I focused on my physical aspect because I felt as though this would be the easiest aspect in which to make changes.  I have never been considered athletic but I have always been active.  I know that as I age it will be more and more important for my body to be strong and healthy.  I would also like to finally get rid of the last vestiges of baby weight from my children. 

The meditation on my spiritual growth was really quite easy in comparison to the psychological one.  I have always felt a deep connection to the universe.  It was simple and soothing to tap into that connection and be reminded of our oneness. Even as I write these words, I can sense the energy around me and feel comforted by it. 

My psychological meditation was fraught with chaos.  I do not like to delve into the inner workings of my mind.  It can be a scary place in there sometimes.  I am an extremely lucky woman to have a job, a home as well as wonderful friends and family.  There is a deep seated insecurity at my core.  I’m always concerned if I’m good enough.  Am I pretty enough?  Am I kind enough?  Have I made the right decisions in my life?  Then there is the regret about past decisions that didn’t end up well. 

Goal Development

Since my physical side seems to be an easy fix, I have set a goal of loosing 15 pounds by the end of the year.  To this end, there are a few key changes I can make in my daily life.  The first part will be to increase the amount of physical activity I do each week.  I have a membership at the local YMCA and intend to go at least three times a week.  This will keep me limber, flexible and strengthen my cardiovascular system.  It will also allow me to keep up with my very active children.  Secondly, I will continue with my intermittent fasting program and try to break my fast with a protein and vegetable rich meal.  Lastly, I will have to temper my love affair with wine.  Instead of multiple glasses a night I’ll stick to one or two.  This last one will be difficult because I love wine.

For the spiritual aspect, my plan is to go outside.  Seems simple enough but it is not something I’ve done with the purpose of reconnecting with the earth in a long time.  I will take my kids on a weekly nature walk, which will both soothe my soul and provide us all with some exercise.  I will take these opportunities to find wonder, joy and peace with myself and spirit. 

As for my psychological side, this goal will be the most difficult one to accomplish because I have had such a difficult time being confident in myself.  My hope is to find one thing I’ve done during the day that I can be proud of, one moment where I feel as if I accomplished something.  The only other thing that would be of daily benefit is to take a little time for myself, either through meditation, a relaxing bath or to just find five minutes in a quiet room to rejuvenate myself. 

Practices for Personal Health

In order to implement the various goals I have set for myself, the primary act I will take is to tell my close friends and family about them.  This way I have someone to help hold me accountable and provide encouragement when needed. 

For my physical goals, I will attend the gym at least 3 times a week and recommit to taking my dog for a walk every day. These may not sound like a lot but with my very busy schedule, carving out time to accomplish it will be a task of it’s own. 

For my spiritual goals, I will take a few moments each day probably right after I awake to be grateful for the new day and all of the blessings I have received.  This can be as short as a minute or two or as long as fifteen.  I will also make sure that at least once a week I take my children on a nature walk to reconnect with the spirit of the earth and renew my soul. 

For my psychological goals, I will continue to take the lovely anti-depressant my doctor has prescribed and seek out the counsel of a therapist to work through the issues that are plaguing me.  The anti-depressant is very helpful with keeping my emotions on an even keel which allows me to look at aspects of my psyche that cause me distress.  This will be very helpful when working with a therapist.

Commitment

I figure that if I can make it for a couple of months, I will start to see changes in my body, my spirit and my psychological health.  Once I see those changes, I believe that I will be encouraged to continue on with the process.  The main thing I will try to keep in mind is to keep moving forward.  I won’t let myself be held back by small missteps, I’ll just keep moving forward with my plan.  If after a few months there seems to be no change in any aspect, I’ll have to go back and reassess the goals I set and how I worked to accomplish them.  If nothing is working, it will be time for a change.  Life is an ever moving, ever fluid thing, change is to be expected. 

Unit 8

With the limited amount of time I've had this term I was able to complete at least two of the practices and found that they are very useful in my daily life (when I can find time to do them that is).  For the post I will discuss Loving Kindness and Meditation. 

Loving kindness is something sorely lacking in the world these days and on a worldly side it made me feel good to think that I might be putting some of that out in to the world.  Personally, the aspect of looking at ones self with loving kindness was difficult for me.  There are many aspects of my life, the decisions I've made and my body image issues that I have trouble coming to terms with.  I have used this method of meditation to look inward to each of those aspects I'm not happy with and find a way to love what I did, where I am or how I look.  I won't say that I have turned my life around but it has given me so insight as to WHY I might think or feel that way.  I think that WHY is the question that plagues us the most when we are experiencing mental chaos and confusion.  Looking at myself with love, spreading that love to others both near and far is a passion I can get behind and continue to use.

As for meditation, I have difficulty not fidgeting and maintaining stillness during meditation.  I feel that there is ALWAYS something else I could be doing and that I was wasting time.  Then after a period of time it's almost like a switch got flipped and I start to gain a sense of calm in my mind.  If I can keep for getting physically distracted by my children, the sense of calm is one that seems to be sustained for a good while afterwards.  It makes it a lot easier to deal with the daily stresses.  I can see that this will be really helpful over the summer with all three kids home at the same time for days on end...

Well back to attacking the laundry monster that is rapidly trying to eat my house...

It's a miracle! Unit 6

I actually got to finish the loving kindness meditation exercise uninterrupted this time.  I also got to go through the Integral Assessment without having to stop and restart.  This is a miracle in my book because life is so hectic here all the time.  The exercise was a goo reminder of the fact that we should be invested in ourselves, that we should honor the people we are now.  It is impossible to go through every day serving others when you don't take time for yourself.  This is a key thing that I think a lot of women forget, myself included.  As a mother, a wife and a friend I find that taking time for myself is one of the last things on my mind.  We tend to give and give until we're exhausted.  Once that happens, the quality of our lives and our impact on others lives declines.

The integral assessment was interesting.  I found that I was lacking in the physical aspects of my life.  Even though I'm busy I'm not super active.  I don't work out with any regularity.  I eat ok but not was well as I should.  I don't get as much sleep as I probably should.  The other portion I wasn't as good as I could be was the worldly aspects.  I don't do volunteer work.  I don't give to charity.  I'm not passionate about a cause.  I chose to work on my physical aspects because it will extend my life and make my quality of life better in the long run.  I feel that my kindness towards others, my compassion and my general positive approach to the world and my community will suffice for the time being.

To work on my physical self, I've renewed my commitment to my fasting program.  I fell off the wagon the past couple of weeks and can feel a physical difference.  I will also start using my kettle bell a couple times a day for short bursts to keep my muscles working.  Also walking my big silly puppy dog more often.  It will be good for both of us. 

Unit 5 - bleatedly

It's funny how life gets in the way of the things you want to do.  While we're being distracted we can find something new.  The past few weeks have been a jumble of emotion, stress, exhaustion and giddiness.  A couple of months ago, my husband and I noticed a leak in our ceiling that progressively got bigger.  Several visits from plumbers, insurance adjusters and leak detectors later the problem was discovered.  The waste and overflow valve under our bathtub was cracked and leaking onto the sub-floor and the ceiling below.  About halfway into this problem, my husband ran over something on the freeway and blew a tire (with our children in the car).  There was also some damage done to the undercarriage and cost us a bundle of money to repair.  Then we found out that his grandmother was in the hospital and not expected to live for very long.  She was 94 and had lived a long full life.  She died a week later.  My husband, my father in law and my brother in law were devastated. 

I got stuck doing double duty to cover the things that they couldn't do through grief.  I had to explain to my kids what happened.  I had to put on a calm demeanor, be gentle and loving and kinder then normal.  All the while stressing over the bills, how we were going to pay for the damage to the ceiling, the bath tub, the sub floor, the car maintenance, etc.  On top of running a business, planning events for a city association we're a member of, planning events at our shop, booking musicians, carting my kids to school and extracurricular activities AND attempting to complete my school work.  Something had to give, something had to be neglected and sadly this time it was my school work.  I am almost two weeks behind and trying desperately to catch up not that things are starting to settle down. 

On the upside, the mechanic cut us a deal on the repairs, Bathfitters is giving us a new bath tub AND replacing the waste & overflow valve AT NO EXTRA CHARGE, there is an extra paycheck before the mortgage is due this month and our shop had the best weekend we've had EVER last weekend.  So while I'm behind in school and we're still pretty broke.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel afterall. 

I haven't done the meditation for this week because I haven't had the time but I figured a blog post to explain why not might suffice, at least for a few points.

Unit 3 - Wellness

This week's blog assignment was to  to self reflect on our overall sense of wellness in three areas of our lives: physical, spiritual & psychological.  On a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate my physical wellbeing at 7.  I'm healthy, I've managed not to get any of the colds my children & husband have had recently.  I'm strong and able to manage my job which involves a lot of walking, standing and lifting.  I have about 15 to 20 pounds I'd like to loose at some point but other then that I feel well physically.  Spiritually, I feel really grounded and comfortable in my place in life so I would give that a rating of 9.  Psychologically, I'm at a 5 but that is probably a temporary state as I am dealing with the recent death of a loved one.  My husbands grandmother passed away earlier this week.  I don't feel her loss as keenly as my husband does, I do have to carry the extra weight of supporting my husband and his family through this difficult time.  That puts a lot of strain on my mind and emotions but I think I'll live. 

The goal I would set for myself in the physical side is to get back to my program of fasting and be more strict with the hours.  No calories after 9pm until after 1 pm the next day.  I did really well with this program for several months but just recently lapsed into my old habits of eating the past two weeks.  I can feel the physical changes (lack of energy, bloating) so I know that the fasting is a much better path to walk. 

In the spiritual side, I think a healthy goal would be to practice being present in the moment when I spend time with my children.  I find myself so distracted by text messages, Facebook, homework, housework and phone calls, that a day has past and I feel like I haven't done anything with them.  I've been around them all day but the time hasn't been quality. 

For my psychological goal, I think that I will try to bring joy to those around me.  Lifting the mood of sadness through music and laughter.  If my husband smiles, I smile.  When I smile, my kids smile and all is right with the world. 

This time I had a little more success with the relaxation exercise.  My husband was home so I was able to concentrate and pay attention this time.  I felt more grounded and quieter in my soul after finishing the exercise then I did before I started.  So I think in that aspect I found it successful and beneficial. 

Back to the grind!  Best of luck everyone!

Hello, welcome and relax a little

Hello all,

This is the second blog I've had to create for a class here with Kaplan.  I also have my own personal blog but I hardly ever write on it.  So welcome!

I just completed the relaxation exercise and feel that I may need to listen to it again after my kids go to bed.  It was really difficult to fully invest in the exercise when half of my brain is busy listening to my son play with the dog, thinking of stuff I have to do for work, etc.  Although having sat through similar relaxation exercises and having used the hypnobirthing method for my children, I was able to understand exactly what the purpose of the exercise was.  During hypnobirthing, you are supposed to use your mental powers to ride the wave of your contractions (or surges as they are also called).  You accept them as part of the process of creating a life and it becomes a more beautiful experiance. 

I won't lie and say it wasn't the most painful thing I have ever done in my life (and I did it twice!).  It was hard but being able find a core place of relaxation and beauty made it easier then it might have been if I was afraid of what was going to happen.

This particular exercise was crafted to encourage the user to acknowledge the power the brain has over the body.  That systems we commonly think of as automatic can be controlled through thought and intention.

I look forward to having a chance to try this again when I can concentrate on it fully.

Until next time my friends!